Lesson 395

It may be a sad truth, but a truth never the less, that I was bought up by television. With my mother on drugs and my father doing shift work, I was plonked in front of the electronic babysitter at an early age. I very quickly became addicted and television became a source of comfort as well as role model, educator and more.

This morning I found myself reflecting on this, the various shows I liked to watch and what they taught me…and it didn’t seem so bad compared to the content now. It was the 1960’s, 70’s and early 80’s that filled my growing years. T.V. seems to be filled with so much more horror, voyeurism, macabre and grotesque things now, but my mental emotional diet was different….

Shows like ‘The Waltons’ and ‘The Brady Bunch’ filled me with the family values they portrayed (it also gives me something to blame for 12 kids!),many super hero shows such as Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Wonder woman (she was hot) Aquaman, the Thunderbirds, The bionic man, the bionic woman and ‘The greatest American Hero’, my sense of humour was honed by ‘Hogan’s Heroes’, ‘Gilligan’s Island’, ‘I dream of Jeannie’ and then later influenced by the British comedies my father liked such as ‘Dad’s Army’, ‘Are you being served’, and ‘The Benny Hill show’. When I began to seek my own favourites ‘Welcome Back Kotter’ (John Travolta’s first appearance on T.V. I think), ‘The Kenny Everett Show’, ‘The Goodies’ and other such quirky humor appealed to me. I remember what a stir ‘Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ caused amongst my school friends – yes I was a bit of a nerd in the early high school years till I became interested in playing sport…but I like nerds….and yes…I was a jock for a while too.

Monty Python came into my awareness at some point along with the fantasy/sci-fi movies much as ‘Clash of the Titans’, ‘Star Wars’ and, of course ‘Star Trek…..these fired my imagination. My mother and I watched ‘Mash’.

In hindsight, I believe these things built my intellect and a certain moral fortitude over time….perhaps even the unconscious seeds of my spirituality were laid through the character ‘Chakotay’ on the star trek series ‘Voyager’ (still a favourite of mine and my 21-year-old son who now carries a tattoo of the star ship Voyager and a Klingon bird of prey proudly on his arm…not sure how I feel about that?)

I cannot really judge what is on T.V. today….I don’t like most of it but who knows how youth will translate it all into their lives but what I do know is, transfer it they will.

As a teenager I wanted to be a doctor (Mash) , I went on to help people with cancer as a practitioner (superhero stuff), I have become a practising shaman (Chakotay on Voyager) and I have 12 kids…(‘The Walton’s’, ‘Brady bunch’ and ‘8 is enough’ – why didn’t I listen to that bit of advise?!)

Wonder how the Disney films I watch with the kids will transfer…maybe I’ll become a cartoon character?  :  )

Lesson 394

It seems to me, that to find our own path, there is a certain time we must walk ‘alone’. Though Spirit walks with us, this can feel like a very painful time, a time when one feels unloved and unwanted.

This is the path of finding our own unique purpose in the world. It is the way of becoming strong, the way we become Spiritual warriors. Once we have passed this initiation, our brother and sister Spiritual warriors can join us in battle…and we keep going until we have won. I believe we are meant to help each other in this life….that we are destined for something magnificent we are to arrive at TOGETHER.

There are so many times I have felt alone….and so many times I have been betrayed….attacked by those I thought were closest and could be trusted with all that I cherished. Here I remember two things…”That which does not kill us makes us stronger” and the warrior that visualizes the many ways of dying before the battle Has already died many times and therefore, fear is no longer present….I am already dead…there is no more you can do to me.

Often, when Alison or I are challenged by something, we simply look at the worst that could happen, then look at the best. From here it is a matter of discussion about if the risk is worth the possible prize….FEEL, SMILE, LISTEN,ACCEPT,DO, APPRECIATE AND LOVE MORE. Aho

Lesson 393

It is all about feeling safe….’cultural safety’ is everything in terms of importance in our work. This is what a recent experience in a very unsafe environment has taught me.

Williams (1999) wrote…”an environment that is spiritually, socially and emotionally safe, as well as physically safe for people, where there is no assault challenge or denial of their identity, of who they are and what they need. It is about shared respect, shared meaning, shared knowledge and experience of learning together”

I am so grateful Alison, through her Masters designed by Professor Judy Atkinson, has made us very aware of cultural safety…that we have transferred this in an acutely intentional way into our workshops and into our lives…learning to walk our talk so that all people can feel safe and nurtured around us.

Alison has now laminated the below guidelines for us all in our workshops…

Six stages of Healing

 

1. Creating a culturally safe environment – Honesty, Respect, Integrity, Confidentiality, and Safety.

Honesty and Integrity – always speak your truth, and only share what level you are comfortable with at the time.

Respect – kind and considerate to yourself and to others in the group; be mindful to hold each other in unconditional positive regard…when speaking about another in the group, no naming, blaming or shaming.

Confidentiality – what is shared is the group, stays in the group. The part that can be shared and expressed is your own experience, and how you were impacted upon or triggered by another and what was your learning from that. Confidentiality is a sacred contract … “I have confidence in your ability to hold my sacredness and you have confidence in my ability”.

 

2. Finding and telling your stories, “everyone has a story, everyone deserves to be heard, everyone deserves to heal” Storytelling is a healing ritual from our collective Indigenous pasts. It is through deep listening and witnessing of the story that allows the storyteller to go deeper into their story and bring up the deep feelings.

 

3. Feeling the feelings, this is a time when we might ‘feel’ something for the first time, it is like ‘the quickening’, simply acknowledge them, give voice to them and allow the process to continue.

 

4. Making sense of the story, the more you give yourself space to process and others hold the space and support you, the more sense and meaning will be given to your story.

 

5. Being prepared to work through the multiple layers of loss and grief to acceptance…a true commitment to fully sitting in the fire to be transformed.

 

6. Reclaiming the sacred in the self. This is developed through the closeness of sharing.

Circle work is about deep listening and quiet still awareness, combined with a deep respect for each other’s stories. Always remember to honour others and acknowledge that everyone’s process is different, but just as important.

“I am no better or lesser than anyone”